Friday, November 27, 2009

"Trust Your Intuition, the Universe is Guiding your Life"

The subject of this post is a fortune I received in a fortune cookie many years ago now. And I have always really loved it.

Well, it certainly has been a long while, and I apologize for that. To myself mostly, as I am certain I am the only one who has noticed. I didn't stop recognizing the guidance, love, support, and creativity around me...I just stopped documenting it. I actually did do it a little while longer in my notebook and not on this blog. Not that any of that matters now. So here we are...many months later, and I would like to begin again. It seems that noticing the love, support, and creativity in my world always seems a bit easier than recognizing the guidance. So I thought this return-post would best be used to recognize as much of the huge guiding moments I have had the privilege of receiving thus far in life. Not to discount any of the smaller guiding moments, as I am grateful for them all...but I could really use a bigger one lately and they always seemed to come so easily just when I needed them in the past.

My very first undeniable experience of absolute and magical guidance was receiving the opportunity to perform on a cruise ship for the first time. After some prior thoughts about how fun that would be a few months earlier, and with the intention to eventually put an audition video together...I had almost forgotten about it. Then one day, returning from a non-performing job that had just fallen through much earlier than anticipated, I walked in the door with my bags still packed to a voicemail from a guy looking for funny woman for a ship. Being from a city with three rivers and many river boat cruises, I imagined he was referring to one of those. Much to my surprise, I had been recommended by a former classmate to work on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship!!! At the time, all I had really done as a performer was sing. This wasn't a job for a was a job doing interactive and improv comedy, walking on stilts, clowning around. After I put together a last minute audition tape with my brother's help I got the call that I was hired and less than two weeks later I was sitting in my hotel room in Miami about to board my cruise ship the next morning! This was my single-most magical moment in my adult life thus far. It affirmed my aspirations as a professional performer as well as challenged my idea of my own capabilities beyond just singing. I did two contracts in this role and got myself a contract as a singer as well. This job was the absolute best job of my life, in enjoyment, growth, and pay!

I had that experience before I knew anything at all about how the Universe works. I have never been all that religious but this was an experience that made it impossible to deny that someone or something else is at play in this world. I knew in that moment that I was being supported by something magical. Within the next few years I began to learn a bit more about what that might be, but I wouldn't gain full understanding of it for many more years.

I think that experienced deserved a full description, but for the sake of time and anyone who may actually read this outside of myself, I will just list the rest of my guiding moments without so many details!

- My move to NYC, even after initial friends/roommmates deserted their plans was quite easy. I did some searching for strangers to live with, because I was GOING to still move. On a bizarre/magical evening I ran into an old friend who connected me with someone who knew someone looking for a roommate. All the pieces fit together and I was in NY a month later.

Upon living here in NYC, not a whole lot has really been "easy"...but, then again, no one moves to NYC to have it easy. We are all semi-masochists. We move here for the challenge. Some move within a year or two. Some of us are just sicker than others. But as difficult as it is, those magical guiding moments and achievements pack an even bigger punch.

- My job at a fantastic off-Broadway theatre's box office through a friend from college.
- The close friends that I have connected with here over these many years.
- The talks in that box office that led to my discovery of LOA things long before and much more interesting than "The Secret".
- The connection of my new roommates when the time became necessary to find them and a new place.
- Finding our perfect apartment and having many incredible experiences in it.
- Getting cast in my favorite show and finding continued guidance through the lyrics and experience of being a part of it when I did.
- Every show I have ever been fortunate enough to be a part of even the wonky ones!
- Having that director seek me out for one of my dream roles even though I somehow had an entirely wrong phone number printed on my resume.
- Working at a theatre that continued to use me for incredible roles/shows for the next 4 summers.
- The work at another theatre that came from the theatre mentioned before.
- The job I took that took me away from the box office which, while it seemed limiting at times, provided me with several things I needed when I needed them along with an awesome job to return to a year later on a part-time basis.
- Singing with the bands I had the chance to sing with, never having previously imagined myself performing in those genres/bars.
- Finding my last relationship exactly when I NEEDED it for many reasons in my world after a very specific request to the Universe.
- During a time when I wasn't sure whether to move back home or stay in NYC based on my mom's health situation, finding a very clear answer for the moment in getting cast without auditioning at a theatre I had previously worked at. Having the chance to do an amazing role and sing one of my favorite songs in one of the most NYC shows of all time.
- Meeting an incredible new friend and confidante at my recent full-time job.
- Having the opportunity to accept benefits just when I needed them for some dental and medical issues.
- I am still figuring out some of the reasons I held that full-time job for the past year (nearly) before getting let go.
- Getting let go from that job, even though I could have used it financially for a bit longer has always felt like it was the right thing to happen...though I am still in the midst of understanding exactly why.

So I am back.

I welcome and recognize any and all guidance, love, support, and creativity from everyone and everything that surrounds me.