Wednesday, November 24, 2010

"So...what are you working on?"

If you are creative or artistic in any sense of the word, you have probably experienced the frustration of the knowledge that you DO have something MAGNIFICENT to share with the world combined with the incapacitation of perfectionism/procrastination (and yes, they are sometimes one and the same!).

I have many creative aspirations and often find myself overwhelmed by them. I am overwhelmed because there are so many different directions I can feel drawn to, but also because I have this sense of perfectionism. I don't want to do something unless it is going to be absolutely perfect (to my often impossible standards) and the most UNIQUE thing that has ever been created. If I do not have the time, energy, or inspiration to produce this product I refuse to even begin. While I embrace and am grateful for that perfectionism in regards to creating things I am proud of, I have learned recently that this is sometimes just another way of procrastinating what I am capable of. I am learning that there is something much more admirable in those who create for the sake of creating rather than the sake of being considered "brilliant". I have created some of the most amazing things from moments when I let go of that need to be the most "perfect/unique/brilliant" and just DID SOMETHING. This is a current goal of mine and I promise it has NOTHING to do with Nike but...


But...sometimes we are entirely too hard on ourselves.

I had the pleasure of reading this blog post at Affirming Spirit many months ago and was so excited by the relief/inspiration it provided me. She could not recall the name of the artist/psychology major who had self-published a book about it.

Here are the breakdown of the four stages as Nancy recalled them:

1 | Gestation

This is the stage where things are quiet creatively, but you are feeling hopeful because you are noticing interesting experiences, gathering ideas, deciding what you want to work on next. This stage comes after the creator emerges from the Renewal/Rest stage.

2 | Inspiration

This is the stage where you find a new idea, or series of ideas, that really feels *exciting*. It might be a single idea, or one idea that quickly spawns many additional ideas. It may be something you observe outside of yourself or something that pops into your mind. The topic feels juicy and pregnant with potential. You begin whittling down the ideas collected to decide what you really want to focus upon.

3 | Creation/Birth

This is the stage where you begin taking action toward materializing the inspired idea, from start to finish. The creator’s energy is high, and they often feel full of life and vibrant. The work may take on a *life of it’s own*, possibly even going in a new direction not considered in the Gestation or Inspiration stage.

4 | Renewal/Rest

This is the stage creators enter upon completion of the Creation/Birth stage. Often, the creator has been focusing so intensely on the previous two stages, that this stage may feel like a comparative shock. New or inexperienced creators may find this stage comes relatively unexpectedly.

This can be a very critical stage for creators because most find themselves feeling low, possibly even feeling depressed, in comparison to the high-energy stages of Inspiration and Creation/Birth. Unprepared, doubt, worry and fear can easily creep in during this time, and in this low-energy stage, the creator begins questioning if they will ever do anything worthwhile again. They simply don’t have the energy to contemplate something new, and often feel defeated because of the low energy levels.

In extreme cases, a creator susceptible to addictions may retreat to drugs or alcohol to deal with the low energy, and/or soothe doubt, worry, and fear. However, if the creator is aware of these stages and knows *this one, too, shall pass*, they can embrace it and move through this stage relatively quickly~sometimes hours or days, versus months or years.

The creator knows they have left this stage when they find themselves entering the Gestation stage as they gently begin gathering more data and being intrigued by new ideas of theirs or other creators.

As a human being, I am a firm believer that we are constantly ebbing and flowing in SO SO SO many aspects of our emotions/world. Any woman knows how cycles affect our moods/over-all well-being. We are just lucky we have been given an explanation for it. Men just keep their insanity to themselves! With so many people on anti-depressants/anxiety medication I wonder if we all couldn't do with a little sit-down about our natural cycles. Everyone feels down sometimes. It is natural and part of the normal cycle of life. I realize there are extremes to this but for me, just KNOWING that these cycles exist and are so NORMAL helps me to feel better.

As an artist, I am even more relieved to read how NORMAL it is to feel so inspired at one stage, to productive in another, and then to just chill out and regroup afterwards. What a relief! I used to feel like such a schmuck when I wasn't "working on anything". As performers we are all so very familiar with this feeling. When making conversation, friends and new acquaintances like to inquire "So...what are you working on?". Sometimes they truly mean well, while others may be judging. I have always HATED this conversation. If I have nothing to say I feel like a loser and if I have something to talk about I feel pretentious mentioning it. What a RELIEF it is to know that we shouldn't ALWAYS be inspired to be DOING DOING DOING! There is a time and a place for it, of course, and if you find yourself stuck in the "Gestation" or "Inspiration" phases for too long (which is different for everyone) perhaps you can give yourself a kick in the arse but just to know that each of these phases are legitimate and necessary to the final product...ESPECIALLY the "Renewal/Rest" stage makes me feel so much better!

As performer who often relies on other people to cast me in order to "allow" me to create amidst "their" show, I imagine these cycles can be a bit more difficult to manage. All us theatre-folk know the depression that follows closing a show. On top of the loss of such magical quality-time with an incredible new group of friends paired with creating something as a performer we must then return to the "what next?" feeling. As performers in NYC we are encouraged to just keep getting out there and auditioning. Sometimes you need to regroup. You need to be able to regroup without feeling like you are lazy. Resting/Renewal is a crucial part to our art as well! I feel like artists in other formats may have a little more control over which part of the cycle they are on whereas performers spend SO much time in the "Gestation" and "Inspiration" cycles while often having to keep putting themselves out there over and over again until someone "allows" them to be in the "Creation/Birth" cycle. No doubt our cycles are naturally continuing regardless - thus causing an overall feeling of unease when some of them don't come to tangible fruition! Oh right...and then we have to work "day-jobs" on top of this! Oye.

Do you feel better knowing that these cycles exist and are perfectly normal? Can you let yourself off the hook and just enjoy your "Resting/Renewal" phase? I would love to know your thoughts!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Do You Believe in Magic?

Forget about Houdini, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus. The kind of magic I am talking about here is the power that lies within good luck charms or superstitious behavior. An interesting article from "Scientific American" recently got me to thinkin'. Please take yourself a gander at it here.

This article speaks of good luck charms and superstitious rituals. Choosing to focus on good superstitions rather than the bad ones (ie..."Can you really break your mother's back every time you step on a crack?", the article limits itself by delving only ever-so-slightly into this topic. Perhaps this is due to the scientific nature of it's source and it may well be where science is limiting itself in learning/reporting just how magical we really are!

The article suggests that whose who believe in good luck have an edge over those who don't. It is not the actual objects which are inherently "lucky", Valdesolo's findings suggest, it is the owner's BELIEF in them which makes them so. He suggests not to run out and acquire a lucky gem or create any new rituals for this purpose since anyone who has just read this article would now be too aware of that fact for it to work. Now that they know "it is just you and your abilities", all magic is off the table.

I think it is in this realization where we can all discover our true magic. When I read articles such as these I am equally fascinated and frightened by how easily manipulatable we are. It is frightening because we are constantly being controlled into believing certain products, people, choices, and things are "good" or "bad" based solely on what someone else TELLS us to believe. Some of this is conscious and intentional manipulation (marketing/politics) and some is not. It is fascinating because, once we become AWARE of the fact that some things are SO simply because we BELIEVE they are, we become empowered to change our beliefs as we see fit. Once we know it is "just us and our abilities" we have the power to see around some of the beliefs which are forced down our throats by those around us and create those which serve us best.

The article doesn't seem to want to get too deep and falls short of even mentioning negative superstitions. I am fine with focusing on the positive but it bears mentioning that if this is true about our belief good luck, the power of bad luck beliefs are just as powerful, if not more! Let's forget about the "break your mother's back" thing. I'm fairly certain we entertain smaller but more dangerous negative superstitions fairly often without even realizing it. Why do Mondays always seem to suck? Why do we "never seem to have enough money?". Why is every politician "crooked"? Well, these aren't so much "superstitions" as they are negative beliefs but I doubt they couldn't use some tweaking!

Do you read your horoscope? Do you believe everything it says? I am one who enjoys reading mine after the day has ended since I know how manipulatable I am. Astrology can hold a great deal of power but it does not have to!

Some people find it disheartening to learn of the placebo effect but again, this just shows us how powerful our minds really are. We have far more control over our health and the world around us than we are aware of. The minute science analyzes and reports on that is the minute we begin to stop being manipulated and continue to evolve.

Do you believe in magic? Would it feel better if you called it something else?

I recently took my Level 1 Reiki Certification which turned out to be a rather "magical" experience. Even though I was blown away by the undeniable power I became aware of that day I couldn't help but question the validity of it. Was I really able to transmit the Universe's healing energy through my hands or was I going nutty? I could definitely FEEL it without concentrating on it very hard at all. Did I really need my Reiki Master to connect me with this power? It is said that even non-believers who receive Reiki report feelings of relaxation even if they don't imagine themselves to be "healed". But isn't relaxation healing? Is Reiki real? Do we all have the power to heal ourselves by laying hands on each other? It it all a bunch of hooey? I do not know. It comes down the believe or not to. What harm does it do to believe in this incredible power? How is it any different than believing in prayer?

There will always be skeptics and naysayers. There will always be people who will challenge anything that crosses their path. There are those who will refute any/all scientific findings that support any type of "magical" thought. Those people will probably always choose not to believe. I don't know about you but I choose to believe.